So in this post we’ll be talking about the other point of view, specifically “Wait, boys with eating disorders is a thing?!”, “But what can we do?!” and “Is it unfeminist of me to have an eating disorder?!”.
Also, I apologise for how messy the previous post was, so I’ll set it out properly this time.
“Wait, boys with eating disorders is a thing?!”
Um, yes, quite frankly. Since when was any mental illness entirely restricted to one gender?
Also I have just realised I lied. Out of my cosy group of five, four of us have trouble eating. Including the boy, J.
In fact, I know two humans of the male gender to have eating disorders, one, my best friend (as mentioned above yes yes) and the other, a ‘cool’ boy nicknamed ‘Mophead’ (yeah, Mophead, because he used to have shaggy hair, and even though he cut it, the name stuck.)
J’s logic for his restricted diet (he avoids sugar, carbs and meat and only eats fish for the protein) is that “I only play video games all day, so its best I don’t eat so I don’t become a fat slob.” He doesn’t have breakfast because he ‘prefers sleeping’, he eats minimal lunch (usually tuna which he occasionally gets me to eat when I’m up to eating) and both his parents work so he’s left to his own devices at home, and I guess he just does homework and plays video games until 1am.
Mophead is apparently ‘diagnosed anorexic’ (giving y’all all the goss ooOoo) and his ‘girl friend’ (yeah she’s not much of one because she told me all of this) has to bug him to eat, or he’ll just go days starving himself, because ‘abs are the absolute’.
For some reason, even though we all know eating disorders are baaaad, girls still feel the need to have thigh gaps and boys feel like they must have abs.
It’s just so bloody counterproductive, and of course I know the dangers of restrictive eating, so does everybody else, we get taught in our health classes after all, I still do it. I think its just the ultimatum of stress piling up, that causes unhappiness, and then you get into the thought cycle of ‘I’m sad and fat. I’d rather be sad and thin’.
In conclusion (I’m pretty sure I’d get at least a grade 7 for this excellent structure), eating disorders, or at least the vague happenings of one, can happen to anyone.
“Is it unfeminist of me to have an eating disorder?!”
So, I am a feminist, and bloody proud of it. I get a crap ton of hate for it at school, but hell I’m standing up for my gender, and for what I think.
But, I also have trouble eating and have dire self esteem issues (irl that is) (online I tend to be really over-confident). So, am I unfeminist?
Now, I don’t have an answer for this. I’m hoping some of you do, actually.
This is the sole reason that I don’t go on full on starvation, because I am a strong believer in feminism, and one of the core beliefs are ‘we are all beautiful, no matter what shape or size’.
Right now, I’m thinking two things.
No, it is not unfeminist, because it’s more of a mental disorder, which I have little control over (a fragile baby chick over here).
But at the same time yes, because beauty has been standardized by society, and I’m letting it get to me, which has ended up in me worrying about my weight.
Does anyone have any input?
“But what can we do?!”
Well, that’s what I’m still trying to figure out hon, but I’ve got a few things down (also recovery post coming tomorrow- 3pm UK time, look forward to it!).
First off, stop the stigma behind mental illnesses and eating disorders. However, I know this would be tricky because ~some~ people LOVE to compare their mental illnesses. I was in a comment thread about 13 Reasons Why, and it was basically “Yeah, I have problems too, mine were much worse than Hannah’s but I’m not gonna kill myself”. I got so mad over that I swear, because everyone deals with thing differently?!?1?1?! Also a mental illness is nothing to brag about, it doesn’t give you an extra ‘card’ over anyone else, and c’mon. Hannah was fictional. BUT, yeah. I think stopping the stigma behind illnesses would help, if only some people could be decent enough not to brag about their own problems., yanno?
Secondly, looking out for everyone. Why does this society have to be so ‘each-for-your-own’?? Argh, it really sucks knowing that society is just sort of stuck in a never-ending cycle of hate. Yes, I admit to clashing with some people (actually quite a few people lol) but maybe if adults could actually act like adults? And yeah teenagers should act like adults too in my opinion. You can have a political voice, drive and drink at 18, but none of us can actually communicate properly?! That just blows my mind with shame.
Finally (so far), I honestly think we should restrict adverts. Like honestly honestly. Hear me out. So if there was less of a barrage of ‘THIS IS HOW YOU SHOULD LOOK LIKE OR YOU’RE NOTHING’, even just a little less, someone could feel a little bit better about themselves, which would make them less inclined to you know, hurt themselves. I think that if things like buses didn’t have so many ads of ‘get beach ready’ with a super-skinny white, blonde girl, which by the way, I have to look at every morning to get to school because I get on the bus, I wouldn’t hate myself so much straight up outta bed. If Instagram didn’t have so many ads showing beautiful (again usually white, just gonna put that out there) thin people peppered throughout my feed that I usually look at coming home from school, then maybe I’d feel better about myself coming home. And I wouldn’t feel inclined to try a ‘1000 calorie bum & thighs workout’ as soon as I get home. It would admittedly be a shame for businesses that thrive on that stuff, but the payoff of the better mental health of the generation that’s actually consuming your products is definitely worth it right?
Conclusion: ads, go away. People, be nice.
Thanks for reading my beautiful friends. Have a lovely day and let me know what you think in the comments. Oh and share please! I’d really like to get my opinion heard and get lots more input from everyone.
Love, Emma xxx